BLOG: I’m A Failure.

Here’s my question: Are you tired and weary of  failing Jesus? I am. Check this verse out. You’ve probably heard it at least once in your life.

For all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God.- Romans 3:23

Depressing, huh? Frustrating, huh? Absolutely. Throughout my life, I have had no problem realizing that I am a sinner. Too much of a sinner. I am the king of sinning. Easily declared. And this verse just reminds me, that I’m a sinner. And that I have no possibility of making it to Heaven on my own. Then my Jesus came, and fixed it all. One problem. After I accepted Jesus, I kept sinning. I didn’t stop. My sinning didn’t decrease. In fact, my sin actually increased after I became a Christian than before I was. Given the fact that I became a Christian when I was 9, and then after, I hit puberty. Before I was a Christian, a sin was pushing someone on a playground (able to not do), and then in high school, a sin was looking at something with wrong intent (impossible to not do). And at times, it honestly seems like I sin constantly. And I can’t fix it. AND IT GETS SO FRUSTRATING!!!!!! So what does Jesus think about this? Let me tell you.

This is a picture of my brother’s 5-month baby boy named Reed Wesley. And he’s awesome. Anyway, he just got to the point where he’s really showing expressions on his face (as seen above). My brother, as I mentioned in earlier blogs, is a basketball coach. So naturally, the first thing that was given to him was a little rubber ball so that he could feel it and get used to holding it so that later on in his life, he’ll be the world’s best basketball player. And the weird thing is, that Reed is infatuated with that rubber ball. He cries when you take it away from him, and he laughs when you put it near him. If it’s in sight, he won’t take his eye off of it. He is in love with that rubber ball.

Alright, back to the point. He’s just gotten to the stage that he can semi-grab things, and he tries to grab everything. So he loves to grab this rubber ball that he’s infatuated with. And he grabs it and holds it for as long as he can, and then it slips out of his hands and he cries and cries and cries. He gets so upset that he can’t hold the ball on his own.  You can literally see it on his face, that he’s so frustrated with his failure, even to the point that he doesn’t want to play with the ball anymore. But all of us who surround him, who have seen his growth and how he could barely open his eyes at first to now where he’s laughing and giggling and screaming, are so excited and pumped up and shouting for joy exclaiming “HE’S GRABBING THE BALL!!! HE’S GROWING!! HE’S GETTING IT!!!”

Ok. Stay with me. I think that we can relate to my awesome, adorable little nephew here. In life, I think that we try and try and try to grab on to this understanding of Christianity, and what Jesus is about. And we can grab on to it for a few seconds, and really make some strides in our faith, but then it slips out of our hands and something happens and we sin and we fail. So we get so frustrated, and we cry, and we pout, and we don’t understand why we’re failing if Jesus HAS really changed our lives. But in Heaven, the angels are freaking out, and Jesus is leading the party, and jumping up and down, and shouting, “HE’S GROWING!!!!!” and “SHE’S GETTING IT!!!!” Now, I’m not saying that it’s ok to sin. I am also definitely not saying that we are to be sinless. But I am saying that it’s a daily process of growing in Jesus Christ and “sinning less and less.” But wait. There’s more.

Reed, whenever he pouts and cries because he can’t hold it, and he gets so frustrated that he doesn’t want to play with the ball anymore, his daddy comes and holds the ball up to his hands, so he can play with the ball without it slipping away and him failing. Why does his daddy do that constantly? Because he enjoys seeing his son smile. IN THE SAME WAY, in the times that we get so frustrated with our failure, that we almost write it off as a lost cause, our Heavenly Daddy comes and holds the ball for us, so that we can’t fail. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, right? Check out the verse that follows after it. Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares us righteous. He does this, not through our successes, but even through our failures, because of the victory of Jesus Christ.– (Romans 3:24, paraphrased) And why does God delight in doing this? Because he loves his children. And he loves to see them smile.

Stay cool guys.

This week, try praying like this:

Daddy, you are so patient. Sometimes I get so frustrated and upset because I want to figure out the key of Christianity NOW, and I’m impatient. But you are not in a hurry. You are growing me. You are beautifully patient throughout all of my failures, and insecurities, and doubts. I still have questions, but you hold me up regardless. So grow me tenderly, but deeply. I am a failure. I am a great sinner, but You, God, You are a GREAT SAVIOR. I love you too, Father. Amen.



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